Here is the emo blog post that I hope you find to be: informative, bearable, and mildly amusing.
Two years ago.
I went and hung out with a girl on Valentines day, just the two of us and just as friends of course. We went longboarding around Hastings for a few hours and we talked about life. In the weeks to follow we hung out more and more. We watched movies together, went longboarding with friends, and played against each other in some pretty brutal Mario Cart races. I decided that I really liked this girl and on March 1st after a late night of watching Paranormal Activity and then sharing our personal testimonies of how God had worked in our lives; Boom, we were holding hands and there was much nervousness but we started dating. A week later I kissed a girl for the first time and by the end of the night I kissed her for the 10,000th time. We spent every possible moment together and night after night of making out while a film played in front of us, we would cuddled together on the worlds most uncomfortable couch. I thought this is love... Life couldn't get much better than this. But then Summer came and with the heat and humidity things started to get hot and heavy. The physical side of the relationship escalated quickly. After compromising our morals and beliefs night after night we would try to set up boundaries and then proceed to go far beyond those boundaries. I felt like such a hypocrite and began hating myself for failing to live the way I knew to be right. I would longboard home from her apartment at 5am feeling depleted and defeated. I slept only a few hours each day and then I would go to my job pushing shopping carts for 8 hours at Wal-Mart. While at work I would replay everything in my mind and become incredibly depressed. Through the counsel of a good friend and some Mark Driscoll sermons online I was able to see that the best thing for her and for me was to end the relationship and get centered on Christ again.
It didn't seem right and it didn't seem fair, but I had to admit that I failed. And for the next 3 months I felt like a complete failure. I still pushed carts everyday, I found it increasingly hard to sleep, and the relationship turned from bf and gf to friends with regrets. My best friends and I went to Colorado that summer to hike, camp, and white water raft. I fell in love with the mountains and had the time of my life with my friends. Once we got back to Nebraska I began to hatch out a plan to move closer to the rockies. This move would benefit me in several ways; seeing as 700 miles is a far distance I would be incapable of committing any further sexual sin with my ex-gf. I would get to experience life in a big city and life next to mountains. And most importantly I would be clueless and have to rely on God for everything. In October I loaded my car up with everything I owned, said my goodbyes, and got lost the moment I got to Denver. I had maybe $200. to my name and no job....
My life seemed pretty sketchy at that point... dump the girl you love, quit your job, and move to the mountains...
Wait God are you sure about this?
Yes, Now pull your pants up and head for the hills
Since moving to the suburbs of Denver God has provided me with, a job I enjoy, excellent friends and roomies, the ability to play bass guitar on trips to California, a great church, and brutal hardcore concerts. But when I focus on the past and the mistakes I have made it's very easy to get depressed and lose sight of what God is doing in my life right now. God is continually pouring out his Love for all of us and he needs to be first in our love life, and if he is then we will in fact love life.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength;
and love your neighbor as much as you love yourself" - Luke 10:27
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices when truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Also, I think this dude is pretty cool.
(I may post more on this topic in the future, but thats all for now)
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