a clarification

I need to apologize for "My love life..." and that's kinda funny. In all seriousness the theme of that post was that I suck and that Gods Love is awesome. I am a lazy writer and the reasons behind the relationship falling apart were that I didn't really know what Love was, I was passive and weak when it came time to do what was right, and I was selfish.... There are some other words I would use to describe me but I don't find them to be blog appropriate.

A week into dating I told her I loved her. I was pretty sure I was going to marry her someday. And with those thoughts in mind being physical felt almost justified at the time. I was greatly mistaken and inexperienced and that's a terrible way to try and lead a relationship. I'm just "a boy who can shave" not that I have to, but it takes a man to do what is right and lead well.

here is a poem I wrote awhile back: (it's pretty emo)

The Heartless Captain (metaphorically of course)

For where your treasure is there your heart will be also
Well, my treasure is at the bottom of the sea
but I am a man drowning on dry land
The Captain never went down with his ship
but his heart sank to depths unseen.

We were fools to fill the hull
with nothing but fire and fools gold
at first I thought it was the passion that burned
but then I saw the boards at our feet
dissolving into ashes and our gold was
smelted down into nothing pure
I thought it best to leave these useless ores
So I abandoned ship and swam to shore

Now I walk the sand as the heartless Captain
and through my telescope I can still see the smoke rising
I hope my heart decides to float back to me
but it's having trouble letting go of these memories
I'll have to get my feet wet to actually be free from this great treachery
and untangle my heart from the depths of the sea...

 The poem is about a ship that is a relationship and a terrible captain that is glad to be alive but ashamed that he didn't go down with his ship and now he just kinda wanders around lifeless and still feeling the full weight of his poor leadership.

"I learned a lot about falling in love

when I fell out of love

I learned a lot about being a friend

when I was alone

Well I played with fire

I burned it all down

I made more mistakes

than you can count" -Tigers Jaw